Dealing With Critics - Six Questions That I Ask Part 2

#4 - Is This Criticism Personal Or Shared By Others?

Pastors…here is the truth. We can receive hundreds of e-mails telling us how wonderful the sermon was…and one telling us that we are horrible preachers…and we will ignore the one hundred and focus on the one that was negative!We all do it–I am the world’s worse!!!

OR–we will fall for the line, “I’ve been talking to a lot of people…and everyone is saying…” And then they will unload their personal agenda on us and say that everyone is saying the exact same thing. Which in most cases is not true. In fact, what I have discovered is that a person who usually says things like this don’t really have a lot of people who will talk to them anyway. Seriously! And…if it is always the same person saying that “everyone is saying,” but they are the only person who is saying anything…then ask them who “everyone” is–this will usually shut them up!

#5 - Is This Worth My Time?

I used to try and fight every single ounce of criticism that came my way…and I just can’t do it anymore, and neither can you.
Now, there are some things that are worth my time…and I do address issues on the blog from time to time that I feel are necessary.
BUT…what I have discovered is that the majority of the criticism I get simply isn’t worth my time. I am NOT going to change the person’s mind…and “friendly debate” is out of the question…so I just move on.

6# - Will I cause dissension among the brothers by doing this?

According to Proverbs 6:16-19 God HATES it when someone does this!
One night I heard of a church that was growing in popularity…but had some very different biblical views. I went to their website and listened to a message and, by the end of it, I was SO ANGRY. The speaker had basically butchered Scripture to affirm a very unbiblical behavior! I started to blog about this guy until…I thought, “I don’t even know this dude…and by doing this I am going to release a firestorm against him…is that right?”

Don’t get me wrong–I was still mad…but I did not want to participate in something that I knew God was going to hate–that would pretty much be considered sin!!!
The world is watching…and when Christians cause Christians to get mad at other Christians…somehow I just don’t believe God is pleased.

Dealing With Critics - Six Questions That I Ask

Here below is an excellent article from Pastor Perry Noble of Newspring Church about how to deal with critics.

Believe you me its part of the territory that comes from wanting to live a significant life.Depending on how its handled it will either make you or break you.
Pastor Perry gives some good insight on how to let it make us .Its in 2 parts,check out tommorow for Part 2

Dealing With Critics - Five Questions That I Ask

I have been a part of several pastors Q & A sessions in the past year–leading some and participating in others–and in EVERY session that I attended the question, “How do you deal with criticism” surfaced.

I will have to admit that I am NOT an expert in this area…I am still learning; however, I believe in order for a pastor (or church leader) to finish well he has to learn how to deal with this issue. Jesus dealt with it, so did the Apostle Paul…we all will. One of the number one factors in pastors leaving the ministry is discouragement…and so here are several questions that I ask when criticism flies my way…

#1 - How Well Does This Person Know Me?

One of the things that we have to learn as pastors is just because someone has a blog or knows how to type an e-mail…that does not make them an expert. (Yes, I put myself in this category.)
I cannot tell you the number of blog posts I have read and e-mails that I have received from people calling me prideful, a heretic, saying that I am going to hell…and those are the nice ones!!!

Pastors, you’ve got to understand WHO is doing the criticizing. People will often act before they think (I do) and make snap judgments on your character based on one line you wrote on your blog or something you said in a sermon in which they did not listen to the entire context.
And…to be honest, those are the people I do not listen to. I can’t! I don’t have time.

BUT…I do listen to those closest to me. I have created an open atmosphere among the leaders here at NewSpring…and behind closed doors I have been both encouraged and rebuked. You’ve got to have people around you who are willing to tell you the truth or this does not work.

AND…I listen to the people in our church, who are neck deep in ministry with us…their opinion matters! But those who don’t know me–I don’t have time to try to convince them I’m a good person…and if I try then they call me arrogant and say I should be more humble. :-)

#2 - What Attitude Does The Person Criticizing Have?

Bottom line, if someone comes at me with a negative, condemning attitude…I write it off. The Bible says that we are called to speak the truth…but we are called to do so in love.


#3 - Does What The Person Is Saying Pass Through The Filter Of Scripture?

DANG…I heard Erwin McManus say this once…and it has impacted me ever since. When someone comes at me with, “I think this,” and, “I think that,” but cannot back up their argument with Scripture…I write them off.

Let me say this–Scripture IN CONTEXT, I have discovered that there are some people out there who can make the Bible say anything they want it to say by misquoting God’s Word.
But Scripture in context…I will listen to that.

For example, a few weeks ago a friend and I had some differences and I did not speak to this person for several days. Things were tense because we work around one another. She confronted me on this and said,

“The Bible says in Ephesians 4:26 that we are not supposed to let the sun go down on us while we are angry…I would say you have done that.”
I was busted–she was right…she confronted me with a non-judgmental attitude and used Scripture in context…and I repented because I was wrong.


Have you experienced critics?

What works for you?

I am interested in your comments
Jeremy

Delilahs Barber Shop Part 2

While this story stands as a warning of what not to do, it is also a story that speaks of second chances.

He conquered through Grace

We serve a God of second chances. The grace of God is such that he refuses to cast us aside if we repent. The Bible tells us that “the hair of his head began to grow again after it had been shaven” (Judges 16:22 NKJV).

That’s my life verse I am what you call follicle challenged As Samson’s hair began to grow, his strength began to return.

One night, as the Philistines were having a drunken feast to their false god, Dagon, someone came up with the idea of dragging out the sightless Samson so they could make fun of him.

Samson was guided by a servant to the foundational pillars of the temple, and in a final act of vengeance, he asked for strength from God and pushed the pillars apart. The temple collapsed, and Samson killed more Philistines in one moment than he had killed in his entire lifetime.

He conquered through Prayer

Judges 16vs 28 –“Oh God remember me”

James 4vs 7...Submit yourself to God resist the devil and he will flee-come near to God and He will come near to you.

The air in a room looks fine until the sun shines through the window and you see the particles of dust floating around .

If the light of Christ is not shining in your life you will think you are living in a clean room and you wont see the dirt hovering around you ,but when the light of Christ is shining in you are very sensitive to the dust of sin

He conquered through Death

Judges 16vs 30 “Let me die”
By his own death he triumphed

Mark 8vs 34… seek to lose your life in Christ it their you will find it

Delilahs barber shop

When we think of Samson, probably the first thing that comes to mind is his incredible strength.
Popeye's strength came from spinich
The Incredible Hulks strength came from getting angry
Samsons strength came from his hair

If my hair was the symbol of my strength I would be a very weak man,I am what you call follicly challenged

This guy was a human wrecking ball!! ,He ripped a loin in half,carried the gates of the city up hills ,killed 1000 men with a jaw bone of a donkey , but he was also one of the most interesting and controversial guys that God ever put His hand on, a man with incredible potential that he largely wasted

Samson could have been one of the greatest leaders in the history of Israel, instead, his life tragically became an example ,a proverb of how not to live.

He threw it all away because he made some subtle but serious mistakes.

Genesis 4:6-8 -But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."He failed to prepare so he prepared to fail

The Bible tells us in Judges 16:21
“The Philistines took him and put out his eyes, and brought him down to Gaza. They bound him with bronze fetters, and he became a grinder in the prison”

That is what sin does. It blinds you. It finds you. And then it grinds you.

The Philistines took him (Finds you)
And put out his eyes, (Blinds you)
They bound him with bronze fetters, and he became a grinder in the prison (Grinds you)

That is what sin does. It blinds you. It finds you. And then it grinds you.

First of all, it blinds you.
It looks attractive desirable, look satisfying. It promises much but delivers very little. Sin will always provide short-term gratification with a goal of long term destruction it will take you further than you want to go and leave you longer than you want to stay,and cost you more than you want to pay. Samson got up from Delilahs barber shop not knowing his strength had left

Don’t be deceived by sin. If it comes knocking on your door, don’t answer. Its much better to shun the bait than struggle on the hook. We need to flee temptation and leave no forwarding address

The wise man "sees danger and takes refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it" (Proverbs 22:3 NIV).


Next, sin finds you.
There might be an almost euphoric excitement the first time you cross the line, whether it’s that first sexual encounter, the first time you steal that item, the first time you get away with that lie, the first time you have that drink, the first time you try that drug, ,illicit website and so on. .

You take the bait and then think you’re getting away with it. But the Bible says, “Be sure your sin will find you out” (Num. 32:23 NKJV). Sin is like a boomerang if you don’t get rid of it will come back and find you.
Small things turn into big things little compromises turn into big sins-it can be a slow and subtle process a bit like that frog in the frying pan


And then sin grinds you.
You eventually pay the miserable price. their are pleasures of sin –I acknowledge sin can be fun –it like that roller coaster ride –I acknowledge that pay day will come –and the wages is death .Your marriage is broken. A trust is betrayed. Your witness is damaged. Your reputation goes down the tubes. Your children are devastated

While his story stands as a warning of what not to do, it is also a story that speaks of second chances.More on this tommorow